And, in the end, the love you takeI've been thinking about love quite a bit lately and wondering if there is such a thing. I wonder whether there can really be a bond of feelings so strong between two people that are not blood related?
Is equal to the love you make. ~Paul McCartney
I do understand the love that a Mother will have for her offspring. This makes sense to me and is evident across all of nature although mostly in mammals. A Mother will protect it's young at any cost as she has a vested interest in them, they are from her body, they are part of her.
The male of the species has two goals, to survive, and to procreate. I'll dig in deeper and find references for this statement, but these are the general goals.
According to dictionary.com the definition of the word runs all the way from "a profound, tender, passionate affection for another person" to "enthusiasm, or liking for anything". That's a pretty wide range! No wonder I'm searching for what love really means. It looks like the word has become overused for many different meanings through the years.
I stumbled across the origin of the word love and found it quite interesting. Especially that it did not really come into use with relationships until around the 17th century.
In our modern society we usually relate the term "in love" with two people that are in a committed relationship. This relationship usually happens through the game of courtship where the female will eventually choose the male, testing him at each phase.
The five phases of courtship are Attraction, Non-verbal Communication, Verbal Communication, Physical Touch, and ending in Sex.
The game is pretty simple when broken down and females will test the male's worthiness at each level to find out if they will "make good offspring" and can provide for them and their offspring. There is no denying what I mentioned above, the female will make the decision to move through each phase, however the male can do things to build a strong sense of attraction to better the odds in his favor. It really is a game...
This is human nature kind of stuff, that happens and sometimes it's without us noticing.
There are some interesting articles out there that talk about couples that have been in relationships for a long time and still feel the same way about their mate as when they were going through the courtship phases. That, along with my personal experience of seeing couples stay together for long periods of time makes me think that there is "something", but I start to wonder whether this "something" is really just the attraction factor to that person and nothing more? Think of all the couples who get together and get married, only to get divorced, some multiple times. I bet every one of them would tell you they were "in love" at some phase of courtship.
My question comes back to me - Is Love Real? If these things are programmed into us in our animal forms, then what is love and is there even such a thing?
I'll continue to research this and see if there really is such as thing as love or if love is really just an extreme side of a feeling, such as obsession with someone / something.
What I do know as a fact is that one who is "in love" and going through the feelings that come with this generic term, can easily be influenced to believe that which is not true or does not exist in reality. Which makes me wonder whether this leads to an unhealthy state of mind? Does one talk themselves into being "in love" when influenced by these feelings? Since we all make our own reality, is love a unique feeling for each person?
I believe the answer to the last question is "yes". The reason I believe this is because I don't think "love" is always a mutual feeling. One person may feel much stronger feelings for their mate than their mate feels for them and I believe that these feelings can change over time, I also believe that the change is usually a decline in feelings.
I think there will always be people who will just prefer to get lost in their emotions and not try to understand why they feel the way they do... if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not one of those people. :)
Comments and thoughts welcome....